There’s almost no point in reviewing this movie, that’s how underwhelming it is. It feels like an extra long X-Files episode, which is fine except that it’s not a particularly good episode. It would be good as a CSI ep, but an X-Files ep? Not so much. There’s hardly anything supernatural going on and while one could argue that the subtlety of the paranormal portion of the story made for classic X-Files banter between Scully and Mulder since it allowed them to get back to their disagreeing ways, that would not be a valid argument. I needed more and I needed bigger. This is a movie after all. It’s the big screen. Give us something spectacular! The only spectacular thing in this film is Scully’s long, lustrous hair.

The interaction between the two leads is the only worthwhile thing in this film but even that grated because it seemed false. Surely after all this time they would be over all their stupid angst. It didn’t even make sense within the context of the narrative. Ugh. I could say more but that would require spoilers and I don’t care enough to bother. And you shouldn’t care enough to bother seeing this movie. Seriously, it’s not even worth renting.

2 niqueheads but 1 of them is for Scully’s hair and the other is for Mulder’s beard. [rating:20]