{"id":1199,"date":"2009-05-08T21:22:04","date_gmt":"2009-05-09T02:22:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/?p=1199"},"modified":"2009-05-09T19:10:53","modified_gmt":"2009-05-10T00:10:53","slug":"star-trek-sigh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/?p=1199","title":{"rendered":"Star Trek… *sigh*"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everybody knows I’m a huge Star Trek fan.\u00a0 Maybe to a point that is even… unreasonable.\u00a0 But there it is:\u00a0 I take this shit seriously.\u00a0 In my defense I was 11-years-old when I first became a fan so my tastes were less refined than they are now (slighty at least) and hell, it was the ’80s.\u00a0 We were ALL less refined.\u00a0 But my devotion to the franchise is unwaverable.\u00a0 No matter what kind of shit they throw at us, I will watch it, even if it sucks so loudly you can hear the vacuum of space (no, that makes no sense, but my wordplay is da bomb, yo!).\u00a0 Hell, I watched Enterprise, ok?\u00a0 I watched it faithfully!\u00a0 And I even defend some<\/em> of the choices they made in that series.\u00a0\u00a0 I am also a\u00a0militant defender of Voyager… ok, not militant, more like semi-closeted, but still.\u00a0 Seven of Nine rocked y’all.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But no matter how much I love Trek, I HATE the original series.\u00a0 HATE!\u00a0 We’re talking all caps hate.\u00a0 Now I realize it was the ’60s so they were working with limited resources, mainly the lack of functional feminism (in spite of Rodenberry’s best efforts) but really, that’s no excuse.\u00a0 If something sucks, it sucks.\u00a0 Like, much as I love TNG I can admit that the first couple of seasons were dog poo.\u00a0 Anyway, most of the reason I hate TOS is because I hate Kirk.\u00a0 He is such a fucking douchebag.\u00a0 I guess I get why he’s such an icon and why so many people love him, because he’s all heroic and shit and he’s the alpha male and he has sex with green women and stuff but fuck, dude is a tool.\u00a0 He is an asshole.\u00a0 I’m sorry, it’s true.\u00a0 He is all act first and think later, killing everything that gets in his path.\u00a0 And he’s just… gross.\u00a0 Creepy.\u00a0 Douchy.\u00a0 (Just to clarify my terms: douchebag= something that advertises itself as being good for your vagina but will actually poison it.)\u00a0 Ugh.\u00a0 Seriously.\u00a0 Kirk?\u00a0 Mega douche.\u00a0 But I do acknowledge what TOS did right, such as Spock.\u00a0 The whole Vulcan concept is top notch.\u00a0 And they had a few decent episodes I guess.\u00a0 Whatevs.<\/p>\n

Obviously what I’m getting at is the new movie.\u00a0 Many years ago I came to the point where I was willing to let Star Trek go.\u00a0 In spite of my love I decided it was time for the franchise to die.\u00a0 The last two movies made that painfully clear.\u00a0 In this age of relatively realistic sci-fi shows such as BSG, is there room for the cheesefest that is Trek?\u00a0 (Yes, I acknowledge its cheesiness, even though it also has compelling storylines and awesome characters.)\u00a0 Part of me thinks that yes, there could be another series, if they start with a new concept, a new cast of characters and if they are perhaps willing to bend the original Rodenberry rules (such as DS9 often did).\u00a0 But mostly I am so worried that\u00a0TPTB will continue to screw up the franchise that I just want it all put to bed so they can’t keep crushing my soul with their lack of internal consistency.<\/p>\n

So what are my thoughts on the new movie?\u00a0 Well, I haven’t seen it yet.\u00a0 I’m going tomorrow and I will post my review after seeing it.\u00a0 But in the meantime I am extremely trepidatious.\u00a0 I’m pretty sure I will hate it.\u00a0 Because why oh why must they insist on bringing back the original crew?\u00a0 Sure, they won’t have the original actors, (save Nimoy) thank god but they will have the characters, including *gag* Kirk.\u00a0 And no matter what they do with Kirk, I will hate it.\u00a0 If they try to dedouchify him for a new generation then it will be dishonest and do a disservice to the history of his character, but if they keep him douchey then I will cringe through the movie, throwing popcorn at the screen and yelling at him to STFU.\u00a0 Based on the trailers, he will be in full-on douche mode.\u00a0 So that’ll suck.\u00a0 But also based on the trailers, Zack Quinto will own my soul as Spock.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So I remain cautiously optimistic, where cautiously optimistic means\u00a0scared shitless that I will want to slash my wrists after witnessing the further\u00a0shredding up of my beloved franchise.\u00a0 I get that Trek is a cash cow Paramount cannot let go but I also believe\u00a0that a semblance of artistic integrity is necessary if you want to keep fans coming back for more.\u00a0 But clearly my beliefs are wrong since they’ve made this movie without getting my permission first.\u00a0 Don’t they know who I am?!?!?!<\/p>\n

Well, here’s <\/a>how\u00a0I assume I will feel after seeing it.<\/p>\n

Stay tuned for my review tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everybody knows I’m a huge Star Trek fan.\u00a0 Maybe to a point that is even… unreasonable.\u00a0 But there it is:\u00a0 I take this shit seriously.\u00a0 In my defense I was 11-years-old when I first became a fan so my tastes were less refined than they are now (slighty at least) and hell, it was the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10,39,17],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1199"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1199"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1208,"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1199\/revisions\/1208"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.niqueworks.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}